P.S. I hate you

We have assembled a list of things that irritate us about our "friends."  The kind of things that we could never say to their faces but would love to dish about behind their backs to better friends or at the very least, in the privacy of our ghost blog. 

Here are a few of our pet peeves, in no particular order.  Feel free to post your comments on which of these things irritate the bejesus out of you...or add a list of your own! 

• Ok.  We get it.  You have more money than we do.  Did it ever occur to you that we don't want to hear about your latest trip to Europe, new car, house, etc?  That your baby stroller costs more than my mortgage payment?  That life is soooo damn great because you don't have to worry about making ends meet? Too bad you cant buy a better personality with that cash. 
• Facebook does not give you permission to break other peoples news. LATEST UPDATE: "Please pray for my co-workers friend who just got in a car accident and died, leaving behind 2 year old twins." They are called boundaries....respect them... also, no one cares what restaurant you are eating at, or what a wonderful time you are currently having at a particular concert, party, event... you cant be having THAT much fun if you are bored enough to take time out to tell your loser FB friends so they can think you are more fabulous than you are. Facebook is also not the place to post pictures of the dinner party you hosted on Friday when you told me you couldnt hang out Friday because you were sick.... 

• Believe it or not, there is a time and place for competition- they usually end in the word "race" or "games." Parenting styles and children are not one of them...."I am totally surprised that you let your child watch t.v.  I cannot imagine letting my Sophie watch television until she is at least 3 years old." Well, that is why Sophie is socially retarded.  "It's a shame that your Jimmy can't be a more diverse eater.  My Nicholas has been eating foods like beef stroganoff and brussel sprouts since he was 6 months old." Maybe now you know where your childhood diabetes and obesity came from. How much you want to bet your children end up in juve because you are too busy bragging about how awesome they are to your friends instead of spending time with them. At least that is our hope... Well not really. But kind of. 
• One upping makes you seem pathetic. " I am training for a 10k this year" "oh ya, I am running a marathon." " I am going to try and learn Italian." " I am fluent in Italian, Spanish and 14 dead languages." "I decided to go back to school to get a masters." " I think I will get a PhD this year." We get it- you are insecure, instead of trying to belittle us try encouraging our endeavors,   maybe we will let you join in on them and some of our awesomeness will rub off on you.
• Purge the phrases "Let me see if I can fit you in" (pencil you in or any form tied to that) from your vocabulary. Also, dont tell a friend you cant remember if you made time for them that day... your life isnt so full that you could have forgotten the plans we made yesterday.
• Dont tell someone you consider them one of your friends and then NOT invite them to baby groups, book clubs, birthday parties, christmas parties etc. but you manage to invite the couple you met in line at the grocery store the night before. Its an even bigger no no to brag about these events in front of the uninvited...
• Yes, you DO look fat in that dress...